


Called Out

by DavyTheTrashcan



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alphys knows her ships, Alphys's OTP is canon, F/M, Fluff, Oneshot, Phone Call, Sans has a cruuuuuush~, Sans is flustered, Soriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 20:58:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12117111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DavyTheTrashcan/pseuds/DavyTheTrashcan
Summary: Sans gets a call from an old colleague concerning a door and a security camera.





	Called Out

**Author's Note:**

> Geez this is bad good job me with all the late night fanfic XD

“--so the two of them just left the house on fire and came back.”

The door lady was very clearly trying to muffle her laughter, but she was failing miserably and her giggles slipped out between her fingers. “Oh my,” she said, gasping for air. “They sound like quite a handful! This Undyne’s neighbors must have been very upset.”

“yeah, they were pretty hot under the collar.” Sans grinned smugly to himself and settled into the warm sound of the lady’s laughter. Without skin, he couldn’t feel much in terms of temperature, and he figured this was the closest he got to the sensation of a fire warming his bones. It was nice, to say the least.

Finally, the torrent of laughter stilled, the last howls fading away. The two settled into a comfortable silence. “Well,” the door lady began. “It is about time that I should be tending to my flowers.” She sounded reluctant, but she was right, this was about the time the two of them usually parted ways. “Shall I see you tomorrow?”

“you shall.” Sans winked, but obviously she wouldn’t be able to see it.

The door lady giggled slightly and bid her farewells before leaving, Sans staying a bit and listening to her retreating footsteps.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, thinking about nothing in particular and staring off into space, just not wanting to get up, but he might’ve dozed off.

Because then his phone rang and it was like a friggin’ bomb went off.

He jerked upright, swearing loudly as he did so, cloudy, messy thoughts scattering to various corners of his cranium as he attempted to figure out what where why how huh what??? and eventually he realized it was just his phone. With shaky fingers he fumbled the device out from his pockets and answered.

“heya,” he started to say, but didn’t actually get past the first syllable because he was rudely interrupted by someone screaming in his nonexistent ear.

“I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE!” a nasally voice shrieked and Sans held the phone away from his skull a little to avoid going deaf (if that was a thing that could even happen to someone who lacked eardrums).

“what the--?”

“Uh… eheh… I m-mean,” the same voice stammered, seeming to have calmed itself down a little and maybe to be regretting calling a little. “Uh, h-hi, Sans…?” He wasn’t sure why that sounded like a question to him but it definitely did.

This number wasn’t in his contacts and he rarely got called by anyone who didn’t know him all that well, and this voice was definitely familiar, and they knew his name, so he felt like he should know who they were. Maybe it had just been a long time or something?

Wait.

“alphys?”

“H-hey! You remembered me.” Alphys said, and if it was possible for someone to blush over the phone she was definitely doing it. “I w-wasn’t sure you would since it was so long ago and I h-haven’t seen you around much recently.”

“uh, yeah, long time no see,” Sans said. “sorry about, uh, all that, uh, last time.” It wasn’t like him to get awkward, but this was a special case. Last time he saw the small lizard who was now the Royal Scientist, he’d been storming out of a lab, ridiculously angry, yelling that he’d never be coming back between obscenities, and he was pretty sure he’d used some magic other monsters weren’t supposed to know he had somewhere in there. All around not a good time. And a little embarrassing considering Alphys wouldn’t even remember the cause for such an incident.

He got up and started walking just to do something with the nervous energy he suddenly had.

“O-o-oh!” Alphys exclaimed as if she hadn’t been expecting him to apologize. Her phone-blushing grew ever more furious. “I-it w-wasn’t a big deal, eheh. I j-just wish you would’ve s-said goodbye.”

Not what Sans had expected, but he’d take it. “uh, thanks.” Was that even the proper reaction? Whatever, he didn’t care that much anymore about what other people thought of him. His daily dose of self-concern was just about up. “not to be too frank or anything--after all, i’m sans, not that sleez bag--but what’s this about? there was a lot of screaming when i picked up.”

“Eheheh,” Alphys giggled nervously after a pause. “S-so, you kn-know those c-cameras I have set up everywhere?”

“yeah,” Sans replied somewhat warily. “it’s the only way you ever know what’s going down here considering the polar-oid temperatures.”

Alphys laughed again, a very fake anxiety-masking laugh. “Y-yeah. There’s one… um… I w-watch a lot… uh… right b-by the door to the R-ruins.”

Sans’s eyelights went dark.

Those were not good implications.

“I just hAVE TO KNOW IF YOU AND THE DOOR LADY ARE TOGETHER OKAY THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.”

A flush of magic spread over Sans’s cheekbones, making his face go blue and also making him glad he wasn’t standing by the door and in the vicinity of that camera anymore. “uh…” he said, and it was all he could manage for the moment because for some reason he felt very much as though he had just been completely called out on something and also the idea of himself and the door lady being together was a little bit more appealing than he wanted to think about at the moment and for some reason the answer to this question was very unclear to him.

“I-I didn’t mean to w-watch you guys,” Alphys said hurriedly after about half a minute of dead silence from Sans’s end. “N-not at first, anyways, b-but I saw you out there once and I got curious and then you guys turned out to be so adorable and now you’re like my daily soap opera like Sans I’m so happy for you you seem so happy when you talk to her and okay this isn’t making this any better is it and I’m sorry for spying on you I’ll just--”

“Alphys,” Sans choked out, and there was capitalization, leaving Alphys to wonder if she was about to get murdered via phone conversation. She had only heard him use proper text in one scenario, after all. Instead, however, he just added, “no, we’re not together.”

Alphys was silent.

“...but you totally like her right?”

The blush refused to leave Sans’s face and he felt like screaming but instead he just sighed heavily. What was the point? She’d seen all the conversations, she knew the answer to that question and even if he denied it she’d always be suspicious. Sans probably should’ve been angry about that, but at the moment it didn’t occur to him. He could do the whole “aphys i can’t believe you would do such a thing” later. “yeah,” he said heavily, defeatedly. “big time.”

“OooooOOOOOH MY GOSH!” Alphys squealed, and the speaker crackled in protest. “You totally have to tell her! I can tell she likes you back and--”

“whoa, slow down.” Sans began making his way back towards the camera. He had some important business with it. “you’re getting ahead of the scenario. i haven’t even met her in person, al.”

“But that makes it like 100% more romantic! You fell in love with her personality before her looks! Aaaaaaah!”

Sans wasn’t fond of this conversation, or the way the use of the phrase “fell in love” made him feel kinda weird and like his soul was planning on popping out of his chest sometime soon. He reached the area directly in front of the door and started looking for a prime secret camera location. “i’m not really much of a romantic guy. i’m content to leave things how they are.” Pffft no he wasn’t. But oh well, he told so many white lies in a day, he could just lop this one on the pile with the rest.

“Nooooo! C’mon Sans, indulge me. I just found out my OTP is canon. Let me enjoy this.” Jeez, he and the door lady really were one of her main sources of entertainment, weren’t they? Alphys had stopped stuttering, which meant she was really passionate about the subject. Really passionate about the idea of him and some lady he’d never seen face to face shacking up. Oh for Asgore’s sake. “What do you think she looks like?”

“what do you think she looks like?” Sans retorted with a snort. “it’s not like i know anything about her you don’t.”

“I haven’t seen all your conversations,” Alphys said a little defensively. “And I want to hear your ideas.”

Sans huffed, before noticing a large bush that would be really good for conveniently concealing a camera. Bingo. He proceeded over to it. “it doesn’t matter,” he said as he pushed branches around. Did it though? ...nah, it was her laugh he really liked, and the way she always had a comforting statement for every situation, and how she was always just so unfailingly kind about everything. “although she always says she’s old.”

“Eheheh, an older woman.” He could hear the smug grin in her voice, but whatever, soon he would be the smug one, because he’d just found the camera. “Uh, hey Sans? What’re you d-doing over there?”

Sans didn’t reply as he looked into the camera, gave it his most annoyingly proud-of-himself grin, and yanked it free of the wire that was it’s power source.

“Aw, S-Sans! Th-those are expensive to make!”

It made Sans all the more happy as he chucked the stupid thing into the trees, hopefully never to be seen again. “heh, sorry al.”

“N-no you’re not,” Alphys grumbled. “You’re gonna pay for it by answering my questions.”

“fire away,” Sans said, and then, because he couldn’t help it, he added, “more like camera away though, you shoulda seen how far that thing flew.”

Alphys started to say something, but an unfortunate thought suddenly occurred to Sans and he interrupted. “uh, wait, you didn’t write anything about us…” he said. “r i g h t?”

Alphys had a small heart attack and began stammering meaninglessly. “I, uh, u-um, w-well, m-maybe just--”

“b u r n i t.”

“Y-yessir!” Alphys exclaimed, and then felt stupid because this was friggin’ Sans she was talking to but JEEZ he could be scary sometimes.

“anyways,” Sans said as though that hadn’t happened at all. He began walking back towards Snowdin, dark camera deeds done. “what do i gotta say to get this phone call to end?” There was only so much he could put up with in a day, but he didn’t want to just straight up ditch the conversation and hang up. His last parting with Alphys had been bad enough--no need for another similar interaction.

“What do you like about her?” It was like a dam had been broken. “When did you realize you like her? Are you gonna tell her? Do you think you’ll ever meet in person? Does Papyrus know?”

“sheesh, slow down,” Sans grumbled. “one at a time.”

“I’m sorry I’m just so excited that--”

What a lovely conversation this was going to continue to be.


End file.
